A friend of mine asked me the other day how the “man shopping” was going. “Man shopping?” I asked slightly confused by her question. “Yes, you know - internet dating" she said with a grin. “What?" I responded a bit too quickly. "You can't compare internet dating to shopping?!”. “Of course you can, honey”, she replied, laughing at my rather snappy response, “Internet dating is like shopping online. You go online to look for something you want - when you find what you are looking for, you examine all the attributes, check out the pictures of the item so you are sure of what you are about to buy (you need to visualise how good that "puppy" is going to look on you!) and if you like it, you buy it! If not, you just move on to the next item...like a pair of shoes”.
This really made me think – is internet dating really like shopping online? If so, should I be using my shopping skills when looking for a date online? I am a pretty good internet shopper – spotting bargains and good deals is my forte....so why am I finding this internet dating thing so difficult? What is going on? Am I simply not applying myself and using my talents to the best of my abilities? But then again, can the two really be compared?
The most obvious difference between the two is that unlike retail transactions where you have one buyer and one seller, with internet dating, both parties are looking to buy and sell simultaneously which makes things so much more complicated!! Imagine eBay but with a “swap” function - so I might like your shoes, but you might not be too keen on my pink leather catsuit and so no matter how much I might like you shoes, if you don’t like the catsuit, there is no deal. This transaction will only work if we both want what the other has...
The other obvious difference, is that with internet dating, you are usually not dealing with inanimate objects that are “ what it says on the box”. As we all know, people are so much more complex and interesting than a pair of shoes. So if the shoes look red and have a rose design on the side in the picture, then that is what you get (no guarantee on the quality though!). With dating websites, this is not always a given. A well written profile and cute photo does not make a perfect date, esp if the photo is about 10 years old and taken in favourable light and the profile is a very good piece of fictional writing.
So my question is how similar is internet dating to shopping? Maybe it works if you are looking for a quick fix, a bit of fun for the weekend, like the £30 heels I bought online that looked "hot" the day I bought them and then proceeded to disintergrate into nothing in the weeks that followed.
But maybe my friend wasn't so off the mark...maybe dating can be like shopping especially if you see it as an important and high valued transaction. If I was looking for a pair of Manolo Blahniks or something of that high value range, you can be damn sure that I would take my time to plan the purchase of them. I would find out as much as I can about them, try them on in store, plan for their purchase, storage and maintenance and probably tell all my friends about my prospective purchase (almost like courting). And once I was sure and ready, then I would put the transaction in motion with a guarantee that my expectations and reality were in check.
And so maybe there is way to use my shopping skills to get the right man but like anything else in life, it takes time, energy and patience to find what you want. A simple click and "chat" funtion doesn't guarantee anything and can result in a lot of unwanted “merchandise” and disappointment all round?
This really made me think – is internet dating really like shopping online? If so, should I be using my shopping skills when looking for a date online? I am a pretty good internet shopper – spotting bargains and good deals is my forte....so why am I finding this internet dating thing so difficult? What is going on? Am I simply not applying myself and using my talents to the best of my abilities? But then again, can the two really be compared?
The most obvious difference between the two is that unlike retail transactions where you have one buyer and one seller, with internet dating, both parties are looking to buy and sell simultaneously which makes things so much more complicated!! Imagine eBay but with a “swap” function - so I might like your shoes, but you might not be too keen on my pink leather catsuit and so no matter how much I might like you shoes, if you don’t like the catsuit, there is no deal. This transaction will only work if we both want what the other has...
The other obvious difference, is that with internet dating, you are usually not dealing with inanimate objects that are “ what it says on the box”. As we all know, people are so much more complex and interesting than a pair of shoes. So if the shoes look red and have a rose design on the side in the picture, then that is what you get (no guarantee on the quality though!). With dating websites, this is not always a given. A well written profile and cute photo does not make a perfect date, esp if the photo is about 10 years old and taken in favourable light and the profile is a very good piece of fictional writing.
So my question is how similar is internet dating to shopping? Maybe it works if you are looking for a quick fix, a bit of fun for the weekend, like the £30 heels I bought online that looked "hot" the day I bought them and then proceeded to disintergrate into nothing in the weeks that followed.
But maybe my friend wasn't so off the mark...maybe dating can be like shopping especially if you see it as an important and high valued transaction. If I was looking for a pair of Manolo Blahniks or something of that high value range, you can be damn sure that I would take my time to plan the purchase of them. I would find out as much as I can about them, try them on in store, plan for their purchase, storage and maintenance and probably tell all my friends about my prospective purchase (almost like courting). And once I was sure and ready, then I would put the transaction in motion with a guarantee that my expectations and reality were in check.
And so maybe there is way to use my shopping skills to get the right man but like anything else in life, it takes time, energy and patience to find what you want. A simple click and "chat" funtion doesn't guarantee anything and can result in a lot of unwanted “merchandise” and disappointment all round?
